My Top 10 : My Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes

Years of 80’s are the palace for many premier strong-tough guys in movies like Arnold S, Van Damme, Steven Seagal, Chuck Norris, David Bradley, Sylvester Stallone, Bolo Yeung, Jackie Chan, Michael Dudikoff, etc.

Among all, it was Chuck Norris who ‘is believed’ as the almighty. Either intentional or not, all of his movies somehow presented Chuck Norris as the ‘God’, unbeatable, very strong, never got hurted, never run out of bullets, optimistic and never desperate (compared this to Rambo), never lost a battle (except when against Bruce Lee, but it was long way back in 1973 “Way of the Dragon” and he was still very young) which leads to a popular myth about his eternity.

Eventually, a thing called “Chuck Norris Jokes” becomes an Internet phenomenon, all the jokes each consist of single sentence that depict Chuck Norris as the most bad ass human ever grace this planet earth. Things like “he never cries“, “he can count to infinity“, “paying taxes by just sending a blank form with his photo on it“, bitten by a cobra, the cobra died“, “can make fire by rubbing two ice cubes“. The amount of the jokes are so massive, that even Chuck Norris chuckles and remarkably made responds to it several times (one You Tube video I provided below where he responds to them).

So, these are 10 of Chuck Norris jokes I really like. Can’t stop laughing when reading those laughable and at-many-times supreme-exaggerating myths.


1. When Chuck Norris does push-up, he is actually pushing the earth down

2. Chuck Norris’s tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries

3. Jesus can walk on water. But Chuck Norris can swim on land

4. Dinosaurs actually aren’t extincted yet. They are just hiding from Chuck Norris 😀 😀

5. When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he found that had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

6. Chuck Norris once was bitten by a Cobra. After 5 days of agonizing pain, the Cobra died. 😀

7. Rather than being birthed like a normal boy, Chuck Norris decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb lol

8. Chuck Norris looks like doesn’t get old…even age is scared of him

Chuck Norris in 2011

Chuck Norris in 2011

9. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is

10.Chuck Norris and Superman once fight on a bet. The bet said that the loser of that fight had to use his underwear outside his shirts for the rest of his life. (You know the winner 😀 )

chuck 2

“Well, I don’t believe Chuck Norris is that strong. If he is real tough guy, he will immediately come to my house and smashing my head to my computer.. (door’s knocking)…hey, who is that???…(sound foosteps)…ea9880%;na0n[v7j49g840a9q*)npaf[m maf9h9-avna -nh-e9%hfgdvnmdvhdav&*!!!

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